A PUN IS THE LOWEST FORM OF HUMOR . . .

. . . when you don't think of it first.

Definition of puns by Dave Barry: puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead.
Here is your ration of five puns for today:
My grandson swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When I asked the doctor how he was, he said, 'No change yet.'
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Skipping school to go bungee jumping will get you suspended.
A cross-eyed teacher will find it difficult to control his pupils.
She bent over to pick up a sieve and strained herself.

World's Worst Pun

Is this the world’s worst pun? Tell me what you think.

A famous scientist had an aging, toothless lion as a pet that used to lie across the outside doorstep to his lab sunning itself. The scientist was working on a formula to keep dolphins alive forever. He discovered that sea gulls fed to the dolphins could be the answer. One day as he was stepping over the lion to enter his lab with some seagulls, the FBI arrested him. What was the charge?
Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.