Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Great Punchlines

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."
The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife yells back to him, "Give him your underwear!”

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. “Is this your husband?” he asks nervously.
“No, silly,” she replies, snuggling up to him.
“Your boyfriend, then?” he continues.
“No, not at all,” she says, nibbling away at his ear.
“Is it your dad or your brother?” he inquires hoping to be reassured.
“No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous,” she answers.
“Well, who is the hell is he then?” he demands.
“That’s me before the surgery!”